02 June 2015

Need a job? Saudi Arabia is hiring executioners

The beheading business is brisk in Saudi Arabia. The desert kingdom has decapitated more people so far in 2015 than in all of 2014. As a result there is a shortage of executioners, and the country has posted eight job openings online. If you are interested, you can find the posting here (it helps if you can read Arabic). Look for “executors of retribution.”

No need to worry about a lack of qualifications. The job requires no specific skills or educational background. As a result, it doesn't pay particularly well. Classified as "religious functionaries," the positions are at the lower end of the civil service pay scale. You would be required to do amputations as well as beheadings, so you can expect a heavy workload. On the bright side, you get to perform in public.

Most of your victims will be guilty of murder although the Saudis decapitate for a variety of reasons, including drug trafficking, rape, murder, apostasy and armed robbery. Amputations are reserved for lesser offences. Of course saying the victims are guilty is assuming a lot. Trials in death penalty cases are often held in secret and defendants are rarely allowed formal representation by lawyers. They are frequently convicted solely on the basis of confessions, and we know how those are obtained in medieval theocracies.

So there you go. If you have a strong arm (and stomach) and are willing to travel, here is a once in a lifetime opportunity. You may have to bring your own sword.

1 comment:

  1. And yet we give the Saudis billions in support and do business with them, a la General Dynamics and other arms suppliers.